This one's for the dads

So much of pregnancy is about the mums and the bond between mums and the baby. Johnson & Johnson's tagline is "When a baby is born, so is a mother." Sometimes we forget "When a baby is born, so is a FATHER."

My father was over the moon when I was born and he would rush home from work to cuddle and play with me. This was in an era when taking care of babies was "women's work" and the other men would give him weird looks when they saw him helping to feed me.
Thankfully, most guys these days are a lot more involved. Lots of guys I worked with would rush home to play with their children and kept weekends strictly for family time. There have been many times when our girls' get-togethers happened only because the men in their lives were only too happy to be baby-sitting the little ones.

So mums-to-be, get the daddy-to-be involved from the start. Share with him your feelings, your hopes and your fears. Remember, he's had a hand in this miracle too and he deserves to be there every step of the way. Tell him what it's like when the baby moves about in you. He can't feel it the way you can, so describe it to him and let him imagine what it must be like. My husband is fascinated when I tell him what the movements feel like and I can tell that he's trying to imagine what it's like.

Sing lullabies to the baby together. Watch his face change with all the emotions he's feeling inside when he comes along to the check-ups and he sees the baby's scan or hears the tiny heart beat for the first time. Tell him your pregnancy fears and when you can't hold back your tears, love him for keeping strong to comfort you. Encourage him to talk to the bump - my husband never fails to say good morning and kiss my bump goodbye before he leaves for work. Talk with him about parenting styles, get him involved and thinking early about this - will you be strict or liberal? Daydream with him about the day your little boy grows up to be the champion golfer/footballer he'd always wanted to be but couldn't because he had to do something else more down-to-earth.

All this mummyhood talk isn't just to share with your mum, your sisters, your girlfriends. He deserves to share all that too but in a different way because I know for sure my Top Monkey gets bored when I start talking about matching baby clothes with my clothes while the girls all squeal, "Oh that's soooo cute!" But he lights up when I tell him things like how the baby responds when I play Poke Me games with him. And he enjoys it when I tell him stuff like "Stop eating beans on toast! Our baby is x weeks old and he's as big as a baked bean, so it's like you're eating heaps of babies!" It helps him visualise how our son is developing inside me.

The bonding between father and child doesn't have to wait till the little one is born. It can start right now, right here.

24 weeks and bankrupting my husband with my hunger

Well, I'm at the 24-week mark. I've gained about 7kg now, most of it going to my hips, thighs and the belly bump. I'm what my husband lovingly calls a weeble or, as we Chinese call it, the "don't tip over doll". It means I'm prone to putting on weight around my hips and thighs. When I put weight on, it's always from the bottom up and when I lose it, it's always from the top down. So now I look like a jolly little weighted doll with cheekbones.

According to here, Little Monkey is now about a foot long. How about that? He's the size of the foot-long subs we always eat on our holidays! I can actually feel he's about that length because I know where his head is.. wedged somewhere on the left of my belly, aligned with my belly button. This is also why the left side of my bump feels firmer to the touch compared to the right. I think that's why he always kicks up a huge fuss - and I mean a HUGE fuss - when I lie on my left side. I don't blame the little guy, who enjoys being suspended upside down in a bag of fluid? His feet are to my right, just where my bump's just starting to round out. I know his arms and hands are usually curled up around his head so I'm just wondering what on earth is he using to poke me at the bellybutton???

Most women take a glucose screening test about now to test for gestational diabetes. You can read more about it by clicking the link I've provided above. What I didn't know was that if you have gestational diabetes, you could have a more difficult vaginal birth as it will cause your baby to grow too large. I'll be talking to my doctor about this when I get back to Jakarta.

I'm eating quite a bit more than I used to. I would say I'm probably eating about 1 1/2 portions each time I have a meal. I can't drink a glass of milk for my calcium because I'm not used to it, so I get my milk from my cereal breakfasts and from mixing into drinks. I also top that up with a calcium supplement. For my vit C, I make sure I eat fruits everyday. I don't get to eat a lot of fish so I take a DHA supplement for my omega-3. Chicken tends to be my main source of protein and rice is my main carbo source... I am Asian after all.. hehe.

I've also noticed that I get dizzy if my sugar levels are low, so I always make sure I keep mints in my bag when I'm out and about shopping. I get leg cramps sometimes at night but all I need to do is massage my leg and I'm all right again. I need a bolster or pillow to hold when I sleep (cue hubby whining, "But what about me?") because I can't balance properly sleeping on my side with the bump. Craps with the lower back, I can sense the pains will come later in the pregnancy if I don't take care now and don't find a chiro to work with soon!

Right now, I've got this itch to go out and spend, spend, spend on baby stuff. I know I'm supposed to stick to a list and really, it doesn't make sense to buy too much because babies grow so quickly... but oh! it's so cute and I can just imagine my little boy looking so adorable in it!

Mum and Dad get to see Little Monkey's latest scan

I'm back home in my little hometown in Malaysia for a week to see my mum and dad. I flew infrom Jakarta on Air Asia, one of the region's many budget carriers. It's pretty good service, the planes were on time and we landed 20 minutes early. Unfortunately, the baggage took about 20 minutes to appear so we lost the time advantage.

I'd emailed home Little Monkey's latest scan to my parents to show them the baby but it so happened the PC at home konked out and they didn't get to see it. So I brought the actual scan home to show them a glimpse of their first grandchild-to-come.

I didn't realise that people who aren't used to seeing ultrasound scans can't make head or tail of them. I'd been seeing them so often that when the doctor points out, "Here's his head..." I can make it out immediately. So when Dad first saw the scan, he was puzzled, "What's this?" All his three children were born in an era when ultrasound wasn't freely available and I doubt if he ever got to see much of us in utero.

I told him it was the baby's face and hands. It took him a few minutes of squinting before he finally saw it. And when he did, he was just delighted! It was lovely to see his pleasure and excitement. My dad adores babies and children and he's always the one who would play with the kids in the family.

What my dad liked very much was that our Little Monkey seems to have inherited his father's strong Caucasian nose. We come from a family of snubby noses (or no-nose as my amused husband likes to put it) and a strong, sharp nose is a highly prized feature. He was proudly pointing out the nose to my mum when she appeared later to have a look. I'm guessing that when he's born, they're going to want to make a cast of his nose to show off to neighbours "Look at my grandson's nose! It's sharp enough to pierce a can!"

Bonding before birth

To tell the truth, I'm absolutely in love with our baby even before we've met him, so I don't have a bonding problem. Even though the thought of labour and delivery makes me really nervous, I can't wait to meet him and I think he'll make us a very lovely anniversary and Christmas present. He's due in Nov and we'd married early Dec last year and we'd first met each other three years ago in December as well, so he'll make an early present!

My old doc in KL told me to sing and talk with the baby. He said it would get him used to my voice and it would help his mental development. I know he was talking about playing the baby Mozart but I can't abide Mozart, so I just sang him whatever songs I knew. We've also got this made-up lullaby to the tune of "My Bonny lies over the ocean" with the words "My Bonny" subbed with "My Monkey". All the books I'd read said that newborns calm down when they hear or feel something that they've been familiar with in the womb. So I figured I might as well pick an easy to sing song and sing it over and over again to him while he's still inside. My hope was that if he was fussing, we could sing it to him and hopefully he'll recognise it as "Ah! That's the song the nice protective womb person sang to me all the time before I came out into this weird world!" and calm down.

Another thing we've been doing is playing Poke Me games. I've found out that he'll respond to my poking my tummy when he's active. If I poke my belly button, he'll respond with a kick there. If I poke somewhere else, he'll kick there instead. I was delighted when I first found out he was able to play even from the womb and have been playing Poke Me with him for a few weeks now. He doesn't always respond but when he does, I can play with him till my tummy's black and blue.

Just the other day, I found this article online about bonding with your baby before birth. I was delighted to find that whatever I'd been doing instinctively to bond with my baby were in the article. It made me feel a wee bit more confident that maybe I'm going to be okay at this motherhood thing and maybe I will know what to do. Check it out, mums-to-be (especially us first-timers!).

Fathers are different from mothers!

Well... I emailed yesterday's scan off to Top Monkey and gushed about how cute our boy is in the womb and how glad I am that he has inherited his father's nose. Top Monkey had flown back to KL the night before for a one-day meeting, so he couldn't accompany me to the check. I also had scans of other bits of our baby but I thought I would show it to him in person.

When he arrived home last night from the airport, I showed him all the scans. I told him enthusiastically about the baby's progress and what he was doing at the check and how cheeky he was by turning away when we prodded him but was my husband listening? No, of course not.

He was staring at the last scan in the series which showed a shot of the baby's bottom and his wee-wee. Pointing to the pic, he said proudly in a tone which told me that he'd not heard a single word I'd been saying so far, "Looks like he's got a big one! That's my son! What a boy!"

Men.

Aw... finally a cute picture of Little Monkey!

Everytime I've had 4D scans of our baby boy, he always looks like some alien being in my tummy. This is his first good picture and praise be, he has his Daddy's nose! A nice strong nose, unlike my snubby one. I bet it's going to get squashed and bent all out of shape once he's passed through the birth canal but for the time being, we're celebrating that he has a proper L family nose.

He was fast asleep during the examination and when we tried prodding him, he merely yawned and turned his back to us. You cheeky boy! LOL All is well with the baby, his measurements are spot on for a 23-week-old baby in the womb.

I also checked out the delivery rooms and maternity wards in the hospital. Talking with the nurses there helped reassure me that I was going to be in the hands of people who were competent and knew what they were doing. It also helped to see the er.. battleground, it helped me visualise what things would be like come Nov. They told me that they would also arrange for me to attend breast-feeding and babycare classes and boy, was I super-relieved to hear that because I'm sure I'm going to need lots of help.

I asked for room and delivery charges so that we can plan out our finances for the delivery. We're pretty fortunate that Top Monkey's company will cover the delivery costs up to a certain amount but we'll have to foot the bill first, so it's useful to know what costs are involved. I also checked out registration details for the baby. We'll need to ensure the baby's birth is registered at the British Embassy here in Jakarta within a certain number of days post-delivery and I wanted to make sure I knew what paperwork was required and the fees involved. Here in Indonesia, you normally get an agent to liaise with government agencies for you, especially if you don't speak the language and don't know who to contact. They get everything done without hassle for a fee. It's well worth it, in my opinion.

So 23 weeks on and all is well so far. Phew. I'm glad. And I'm so happy I have a cute picture to stare at for hours on end until my next appointment in August!

Congratulations to M and A for their Big Fat Positive!

I just wanted to post this because I'm so happy for my friend, M. We got to know each other at the last company I worked at before I chucked it all to be a wife and mom-to-be. She's a great person, she's warm, she's funny, she's intelligent... and she'd been trying for so long to get pregnant.

I was one of the lucky ones. I stopped the Pill in Dec last year right after our wedding and found I was pregnant by March. I was disappointed that Aunt Flo made her monthly appearance in January but I found it easier to accept because mentally, I was prepared to try for at least six months before we sought any more medical help. Besides, I knew my body would need time to adjust, so I was prepared to wait.

But I could identify with M's longing to get pregnant and be a mother. I remembered thinking, "I gotta wait for my body to adjust??? Nono!!! I want to get pregnant NOW!" I can just imagine how she must have felt, having tried for years and not been successful despite numerous fertility treatments. It's not just physically exhausting, it also takes its toll on you emotionally. She told me once that she doubted her womanhood with every failure and I can just imagine what her hubby, A, must have felt as well.

Lately, she tried a different fertility treatment. I'll post more about this once I get more details on the procedure in case there's anyone out there who's trying and trying as well and would like to know more about it. To cut a long story short, she got her Big Fat Positive!!! WOOHOO!!!!

I'm so happy for you, M. May this be a sticky... looking forward to sharing mummyhood experiences with you!

For everyone else who's trying and is getting sick and tired... keep positive, don't give up hope. I believe that when the time is right, something will happen.

The PERFECT outfit for my Little Monkey

Our nickname for my husband is Top Monkey (long story...) and when we discovered I was pregnant, the little one was nicknamed Little Monkey right from the start.

So you can imagine my delight when I found this outfit at Mothercare, Pondok Indah Mall! *happy Mommy dance* What a perfect outfit for my Little Monkey to wear!

Almost 23 weeks pregnant!

Tomorrow, I'll be 23 weeks pregnant. I can't believe there's only 17 weeks to go before Little Monkey is out. According to the books, he's now about the size of a small doll. Cool... I'll go out tomorrow to toy shops and have a look at how big he is. I can feel he's a lot bigger though... the easiest way is to just turn sideways, look in the mirror and marvel at how big my belly is now compared to just a month ago! I measure my belly sometimes (measured across the belly button), just to see how big I've grown. I'm now 35" around! Gosh! I've always worked hard to ensure my now-long-gone waist stayed in the 20"s and it's such a surprise to see the tape read that much!

When we were in Comox, Canada, we bought me a belly band and it's an absolute lifesaver. I'm now able to pull out my pre-pregnancy jeans and wear them again, unbuttoned and held up by this band. I'd looked everywhere for it here in Jakarta but couldn't find it so when I spotted it in Canada, I grabbed it.

I'm definitely looking pregnant now. The hotel staff have begun to rush out to help me each time I arrive back laden with groceries. They didn't bother much before... hehe... just thought I was probably fat and strong enough to carry everything. Don't worry, guys... I can still carry most stuff and I'm really training to be strong enough to carry a baby around all night long.

I finally picked up my Triple Screen test results from the doctor on Friday. I had my test done when I was 16 weeks pregnant, it's a screening test for Down Syndrome. Phew... I had a negative result! Yay! Now, for you worried mums out there, if you have a positive result, it does NOT mean that you have a Down baby. It merely means you must now undergo more tests for confirmation, that's what known as a diagnostic test.

The lab included a set of standards for comparison vs my own results. At about 16 weeks, it was a 1 in 3300 chance of the baby having Down's. My results came back as 1 in 3800, so I'm feeling quite relieved. They also included a results standard for your age risk. Mine (at 34 years when the baby is due) was 1 in 510.

The lab also screened for Edward's Syndrome. I didn't know what this was, so I checked up on the Net for it. It's when a baby has an extra 18th chromosome. It's a pretty serious condition with most babies stillborn before the end of pregnancy. You can read more about it here.

We've not started buying baby stuff yet as we're still living in a hotel here and haven't got any place to store our stuff. Crappo really... I'm so glad our home will be ready by early Aug and we can finally move in and have a proper home. All I've bought so far is a shirt-pants set, a souvenir baby shirt from Vancouver and a little black Canadian stuffed bear to put into his cot. I'll have to get pics of them to post up, they're all so cute!

It's been quite an uneventful pregnancy so far, for which I'm thankful. Apart from the morning sickness and lethargy in my first trimester, I've not had many probs. I've not had constipation, I don't really have muscle aches and cramps (but I still ask Top Monkey for back rubs! Hehe) and I've not had any mood swings. I've generally been happy and excited about the baby, really nervous about labour and delivery and unsure about my ability to care for a newborn. I ensure I'm out and about walking for at least 2 hours everyday for my exercise and I'm really, really, really trying to go back to the gym regularly. Honest.

Well, I've got my monthly appointment scheduled next week with the doctor. I always look forward to those, I adore seeing my baby in the scans and bringing home the new print-outs to show Top Monkey and end up staring at the print-outs for hours on end.

Knock, knock! Who's there?

Top Monkey finally felt his son kick for the first time last Thursday. I've noticed that Little Monkey likes to have a fiesta inside me around 11pm and he was kicking about quite strongly that night. So I took TM's hand and placed it on my belly. There was nothing at first but I said to TM, "Wait."

Sure enough, the little one gave me a huge boot in the belly and TM was delighted, "I can feel it!" Little Monkey gave Daddy a few more kicks as if to say, "Hi Daddy, it's me!" and then the kicks subsided in strength. I could still feel him jiggling around in me but if you put a hand on my belly, it wasn't obvious. Now that TM knows his little boy's kicks are strong enough, he's taken to putting his hand on my belly at random times of the day, especially when I report that the baby is kicking around.

It's kinda fun to have him moving around. For one thing, it reassures me that he's doing all right. A friend of mine told me to chart the baby's movements in the womb and to be particularly aware if he doesn't move for some time. For example, she said since I knew he had a tendency to wake up and kick about at 11am, I should monitor him closely if he doesn't do so as usual. If he doesn't move in two hours, she advised me to call the doctor.
Her advice to me was rooted in her own experience with her baby. Four days before her check-up, she realised the baby wasn't moving much and her gut feeling told her something was wrong. So she went to the doctor and when they did a scan and checked the baby's heartrate, they discovered the umbilical cord had wrapped around the baby's neck and his heartrate was too low. They wheeled her in for an emergency C-section that very day. Her little boy is now a healthy, bouncy 4-year-old but she's never forgotten the terror of that day.

What I've done is noted down the times when he's particularly active and I check on his movements during those times. So far, Little Monkey has been right on the dot... he's very punctual with his kicks and jabs. He's also discovered that my bladder makes a very lovely squeeze toy. Sigh. I was kinda hoping he wouldn't discover that till much later.

Little Monkey moons the world

Yep, dear readers, that is my unborn son mooning you.

On Friday morning 27 June, he finally decided he would moon the whole lot of us in the doctor's office. "Whole lot of us" meaning his daddy, the doctor, the nurse and me. And that was how we determined Little Monkey is a he, not a she because his wee wee-wee was quite obvious for all to see. (see arrow)
I think those two blobs above are his elbows. Not man boobs, okay.

Later, he must have felt embarrassed he was mooning us because when we tried to get a peek at his face, he'd covered it with his arms. I've just realised the machine this doctor uses is capable of doing 4D scans. Nono... not 4D as in 4D lottery numbers! 4D as in 3-dimensional with an added dimension of time. So instead of seeing the usual flat 2D scans as above, you'll get to see your baby in 3D moving. It's really cool when you see the facial features of your unborn child, Top Monkey's eyes popped wide open and he couldn't stop smiling when he saw his son's 4D scan for the first time. Ask if your doctor has the same machine, I don't know how common this machine is. If he has one, be sure to bring the baby's dad along for the appointment, he'll want to see this and I guarantee you'll love the look on his face when he sees his unborn child's face for the first time.

I'm dreamin' of a... little boy

Ever since we've confirmed Little Monkey is a boy and not a girl (Poor lad, I'd been calling him a "she" for about 5 months of his life so far!), my dreams have been populated with little boys. I dream of little boys tumbling about in parks and riding bikes and looking all angelic and sweet in my arms. I'm sure tired mums of real little boys can tell me that the angelic and sweet part is not always the case.

Sometimes, the little boys in my dreams have blond hair and blue eyes. I guess this is because I used to play quite a bit with a friend's baby boy and he was blond and blue-eyed. Or maybe this is because I wonder if Little Monkey will inherit the paternal family genes and come out blond and blue-eyed. If that happens, I can't imagine the hassle I'll get in the hospital when I try to convince the staff that this baby is mine. "Yes, Sister... I know this baby is blond and I'm Chinese, but trust me, I'm his MOTHER!" ;D

The other night, the baby boy in my dreams had Top Monkey's lovely hazel eyes. Ooh! I'd like that! I've always liked the way Top Monkey's eyes changed colour with the light unlike my eyes which stay dark brown in all lighting.

It's just so much fun trying to imagine what our baby will look like. Will he get my nose? Will he get his dad's slightly sticky-out ears? Or my big flat brontosaurus feet? 6-footer like dad? Or a shortie like me? Maybe he'll look like Joey G, the product of a Malay dad and an Irish mum. Or maybe like Dom, the son of a Chinese dad and an English mum. Or maybe he'll look like your average white English lad.

Each time a Caucasian-Asian kid runs by, I crane my neck trying to get a good look at him/her. I think their parents must think I'm rude because I keep looking at their kids so intently but I'm really just trying to visualise what Little Monkey may look like in the future. I'm looking now for fun software when you can input in two faces and the software will "scramble eggs" them into a new face, so if anyone knows where I can download that, please let me know. I'll be playing with that a LOT to just imagine what Little Monkey will look like!

It's a BOY!!!

Little Monkey is a BOY!!!

We've just returned from a holiday in Canada and arrived in Jakarta at 1130pm on Wed night. The first thing I did on Thurs was to call my doc and scheduled an appointment for the very next day. Top Monkey came along as we were quite certain that by now, we should be able to tell whether the little one is a boy or girl.

To our relief, Little Monkey decided to co-operate with the doctor and obligingly turned his body around. So for the first time, we saw his wee wee-wee and yes, it's a boy for sure! I'll post a pic of it later when I've taken a good pic of the scan. It was a big relief for us to see that he's okay after all those long flights he's had to endure across the Pacific and back. Another big relief was that my Triple Screen test results were normal. Phew.

I first started feeling his movements when I was 17 weeks pregnant. I wasn't too sure at first whether it was just gas or him moving but it became quickly became quite clear that it wasn't gas. (Clue: I didn't fart) His movements have been getting stronger over the weeks and right now, I think our Little Monkey possesses a right foot that David Beckham can envy. Ow.

He's got quite a regular wake-sleep pattern. He normally starts stirring at 11am and gives me a couple of nudges to say good morning. After jostling around merrily for a few hours, he'll settle down and go quiet in the afternoon. At night, around 7-8pm, he promptly wakes up again and starts jiggling about. Some of his strongest movements have come around 11pm-midnight and I'm thinking, "Oh no.. you'd better not be up this late when you're out of me!"

He reacts to certain stimuli. Music seems to get him going. I'm not sure if he's hearing it or if he's just sensing the sound waves but each time there's music around, he'll start kicking about. And as if to prove he's a proper lad, he kicked about madly last night while we were watching an E! programme about hot supermodels who made loads of money. Top Monkey said proudly, "Of course he's moving about now, he's a boy!" Hehe.

I'm delighted. I don't have any preference for boys/girls, but it's nice to know what to expect. I know some moms who prefer not to know, I'm just not one of them. I'm happiest most of all to learn that he's safe, he's progressing along nicely and all his vital signs and measurements are within the normal range. That's most important to me: that he comes out safe and healthy. Anything else is a bonus.

Time to go shopping for some blue baby gear!

Little Monkey waves to the world!

I went to see another gynae on Thursday. After thinking about it, I realised I wasn't too comfy with the first gynae I'd seen on Tues. For starters, I told him that I was now 16 weeks and my gynae in KL had told me that I should inform him that I need a Triple Screen test. And he didn't seem to know what it was, he kept asking if it was an amniocentesis. I said no, it wasn't. Finally, the nurse told him what test I must be talking about. I watched him fill out the request card for the test and he didn't seem too sure how to fill it out either! That's scary.


So after talking it over with Top Monkey, we decided to go for another gynae, one that's based at Pondok Indah Hospital. PI Hosp is one of the premier hospitals here in Jakarta and it's pretty close to where we'll be living, so I thought it would be a good choice.


Boy, was I glad I went! This doc seemed more assured and I felt happier about the whole process. He had this machine in his office which blew me away. The machine my doc in KL had was only able to scan a side profile of the tummy i.e. if the baby was lying on its back, you'll see it from the side profile only. But this machine in PI Hosp was able to sort of construct an image that looked as if the doc was scanning from the top! Here's what Little Monkey looks like!

Cripes. My baby looks like an alien. :))) Looks nothing like the pics I have in my pregnancy books! Top Monkey said so as well, "Hey, how come it doesn't look like the picture in the book?" The bump in the torso is its heart and it was going piddypiddypiddy at its usual breakneck speed. At one point during the scan, I clearly saw the baby open its mouth and swallow some amniotic fluid and I was thinking, "Oh phew... that bit works!" I think the baby is a late riser like me because she wasn't moving much unlike the other times I've seen her. Guess she was pretty surprised to be poked and prodded at 8am!

It's been a happy week for us Top Monkey family. For starters, Little Monkey's big bro, MSL, flew in from Aust where he'd been working. He's on his way back to Scotland and is staying a week with us. MSL has a great track record for scaring the living heck out of his dad and me. Whether it be girls or parties or flights, he's always managed to give us a fright.

This time was no different. We were waiting at the airport for him, his flight had already been delayed from 830pm to 1130pm. Imagine our surprise and fright when he didn't appear and security said there were no more passengers left in arrival hall. We insisted he had to be there since he had texted us before he boarded the plane in Perth but security insisted there were no more passengers.

So while Top Monkey argued with security (with our driver S acting as interpreter), I went searching for him in other arrival halls. With MSL, you never know. I couldn't find him anywhere and we were fearing that he'd boarded the wrong plane or something daft like that!

Finally, they said yes there was a white lad who was stuck in Immigration with passport problems and we knew that had to be MSL! Off went Top Monkey with S and I waited outside. They took a looooooooooooong time before they finally appeared and I gave MSL a relieved hug, "What happened???"

Well... MSL had once "washed" his passport with his laundry, and the result was a rather tattered and battered passport. Indon immigration officials saw their opportunity to get some er... shall we say... reward. It cost us Rp600,000 (US$60++) to get that sorted out, plus an additional Rp100,000 (US$10) to get TM and S into the Immigration Office to start with and I gave a kind gentleman Rp20,000 (US$2) because he loaned his phone to call Garuda for passenger info. (To put everything into perspective, a local meal at a roadside stall can be had for as little as Rp2,000 so Rp600,000 is quite a bit of cash for a local)

Oh well. At least MSL made it through. He's looking forward to the arrival of his baby bro/sis and has been giving rather unhelpful, cheeky suggestions for names. He's already appointed himself the guitar tutor for the baby (MSL is a fairly good guitarist) and I'm happy that he's excited and involving himself. I'm looking forward to having him come stay next year and play with his baby bro/sis for a bit as I don't intend to raise Little Monkey without involving his two elder brothers. It'll be fun to see them two and I'm just waiting to see if Little Monkey ends up with a Scottish accent like MSL!

Erm.. update on Little Monkey's measurements

Okay, I goofed up yesterday on Little Monkey's measurements. She's not really 12.18cm. I got all the acronyms mixed up from my results sheet. After consulting with my younger bro (who's a medical officer at a hospital back home), he told me what they all stood for:



BPD: biparietal diameter. This is the measurement of the widest part of the head.
HC: head circumference
OFD: occipitofrontal circumference (haven't found out yet what this is for and little bro has forgotten because they rarely use it)
AC: abdominal circumference
FL: femur length



Basically, these are all measurements taken to gauge the baby's size. The measurements are then checked against standards for that stage of growth. I found a set of standards here for the measurements above. When I compared Little Monkey's measurements to the standards, she was well in the range for a 16-week-old baby.
I don't have a full size measurement for Little Monkey on my results but I'm not too worried if all those measurements above are within the standards.



I also checked with my brother about her weight. It's listed in my results sheet as an EFW, which stands for Estimated Fetal Weight. And yep, it's true. Little Monkey weighs in at 158.77gm, about 60% heavier than the average EFW for a 16-week-old baby. Yikes! Must be due to Top Monkey's Danish genes... you know.. big, tall, blond Viking conquerors. I wouldn't mind it so much if it weren't for the fact that I'm a much shorter, smaller Asian type and just thinking about delivering a big baby is making me faint.

5th scan at 16 weeks

Can you believe it? I'm almost halfway there. I'm 16+1 now (i.e. 16 weeks + 1 day) into my pregnancy. Saw my gynae here in Jakarta for the first time.

I can't post any pics of the scan. The machine they were using gave grainier images than the one my doc in KL used, so I can't quite make out myself which bit is which. This much I know - Little Monkey's head is to the left of my belly button (when I look down towards my toes) and it's pointing downwards. Her body is horizontally across my belly with her legs curled up somewhere past the right of my belly button.

She is now a mighty 12.18cm in length. I'm really pleased because the book I'm reading called Your Pregnancy Week by Week by Curtis and Schuler gave an average measurement of 10.8-11.6cm for a baby at this stage of pregnancy. I was initially a little worried over Little Monkey's progress because I didn't seem to be gaining much weight even at 16 weeks even though I was eating 5 meals a day. Looks like now I know where those 5 meals have been going!
I'm doing the 5 meals bit because 5 small meals at somewhat regular intervals throughout the day are easier to digest than 3 large meals. I generally have cereal and fruit for brekkie, maybe a banana around 11am and then lunch at say 1pm. At about 3pm, I'll get hungry again and have a sandwich. Dinner is generally at 7-8pm, depending on what time Top Monkey arrives home from the office. I don't do the crisps and fast food bit, I try to eat things like fruit and some nuts if I need a snack and I try and drink as much water as I can throughout the day.

The book also says the baby should weigh around 2 3/4oz. I have a weight measurement here on my results card that says 6oz. ??? I forgot to ask the doc if that's the baby's weight or the baby + sac weight. I can't imagine it if Little Monkey is about twice the weight of the average baby at this stage. Eek. Maybe we should be changing the baby's nick to Big Monkey then!

The nurse said I have a very active baby. And yep, she is one active little one all right, squirming away all the time, kicking and wriggling. Each time the nurse pressed the ultrasound probe a little harder against my belly, she would throw up her arms and wave frantically as if to say, "OI!!! Not so hard! I'm inside here!"

I still can't feel any movement. Mums can usually start feeling it from Week 16-20 but the timing differs for every woman. I mean, a book can only give you an estimate of what's going to happen on average for every woman. Talk to other mums and ask them when they had this and that happen to them and you'll get different responses from every woman. I know because I ask all my other friends who've had children. I asked my mum but she can't remember now, it was so long since she had a baby!

I also took a Triple Screen Test. Yuk. I hate blood tests. This test checks for levels of alpha-fetoprotein (AFP), human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) and unconjugated triol (a form of estrogen produced by the placenta). The levels of these chemicals will indicate the chances the baby has Down's Syndrome.
There is a high risk of false positives with this test. One is due to the wrong due date. For example, if you think you're 16 weeks pregnant, but you're actually 18 weeks pregnant, then your hormone levels will be way off. Another reason may be if you're carrying more than one baby. Anyway, if your test results are abnormal, the doc will carried out amniocentesis to verify the test results.

I'm not going to think about the outcome of the results for now. I'm just going to relax and just think about how funny it was to see Little Monkey being so active in the womb. I read somewhere that the baby can do backflips in the womb at this point in time and the thought of it is just hilarious.

Only one teeny bit of disappointment for me this time: We couldn't see whether Little Monkey's a boy or a girl. She was lying on her stomach inside me and no amount of trying by us would make her turn around. All the baby did was wave her arms more frantically each time and I just wanted to laugh. Finally, we gave up and decided to try again at the next scan.

So happy. 16 weeks and all is well so far. We are happy Monkeys indeed.

Whee! I've bought my first pair of maternity jeans!

Feeling like a real mom now! Look at me! I'm shopping in the maternity section! I've got a wee bump! You know what's the best thing about buying maternity clothes? The sizes don't really matter! I know that if in normal times I was looking for jeans that were size 12 and above, I'd be getting on a treadmill pretty quick. But when you're having a bump and you know you can't fit into your normal size jeans because of the wee one, it really doesn't matter!

I bought mine from the Dorothy Perkins outlet in Debenham's, Senayan City. They also had a really nice, comfy line of cargo pants there but when I put one on, I looked like I was wearing two long potato sacks. Hmm. I think I'll wait for Top Monkey to pass judgement before I buy them. I just thought the cargo pants would be really useful as they have pockets to stuff things into. Hey, who needs diaper bags? Just wear a really pocket-sy pair of cargos!

I'm still on the hunt for more maternity lines. If anyone from Jakarta is reading this, please let me know where I can find nice maternity clothes. Or if anyone is coming over from Kuala Lumpur, bring me some clothes! Hehe.

Buying maternity clothes

I've come to the point where my bump won't allow me to wear my jeans anymore. They fit all right when I'm standing up but all I have to do is sit and eek! - it digs into me.

So last weekend, we went shopping along Kemang for mummy clothes. I told Top Monkey that I wanted to be as yummy a mummy for as long as I could be and he was trying to tell me that I had to accept that if I were going to be as big as a whale, I couldn't possibly be 100% fashionable. Boo-hoo. Can't I at least try to aim for 80% fashionable?

The maternity shops along Kemang had a very small selection and I was left wondering what pregnant women in Jakarta wore. Hmm... very curious. I left without any purchases but kept in mind where the shops were, just in case I would need them one day.

The next day, we hopped along to Senayan City, the big glitzy mall downtown. It was a Sunday and the mall was crowded with families on a day out. There was a Debenham's there, so we just popped in out of curiousity.
Much to my delight, two labels there carried a maternity line - Red Herring and Dorothy Perkins. Although the selection was again rather limited, at least they had nice flattering bottoms and tops for a mum-to-be. See, I'd tried explaining to Top Monkey that if I'm going to be all big and wobbly, I'd like to at least feel like an attractive big and wobbly person. :)))
They had very pretty nursing bras in their lingerie section too! I thought they looked lovely, can't wait for the time when I can buy them. No sense buying them now when I'm only 15 weeks along!

So now I know where to go to shop for my yummy mummy stuff, I'll probably just buy a pair of jeans or two for now. We're headed for Canada in June and I'll have a look-see there, I'm sure I'll have a lot more to choose from in Vancouver!

Still searching for a baby name for Little Monkey

I have just bought a baby names book and am reading it for inspiration. We still don't know if Little Monkey is a boy or girl, so we've been looking at both boys' and girl's names.

As the family name is Danish in origin (Top Monkey's forefathers came from the Faroe Islands and settled in England many moons ago), I thought it would be fun to have a Nordic first name for the baby. A friend of mine suggested Thor Heyerdahl, after the famous explorer he so admires. Thor Heyerdahl Larssen sounded quite nice. Until I remembered the baby would have a Chinese name as well and when you put that in, it become Thor Heyerdahl Chong Ming Larssen. Which then looks kinda weird, I can imagine Little Monkey getting a lot of teasing in school, I can imagine him being called things like a Danish Dimsum behind his back. Back to drawing board.

See, I never expected to marry an Englishman and to have a child that would bear an English name. I'd always assumed that if I ever had children, they would have Chinese names like me. For Chinese names, you generally have three parts. The first would be the family name. The middle would be a generation name. This bit is kinda hard to explain. For example, my brothers and I all have the character "Hui" for the middle part of our name. So do all my paternal cousins. My father, and all his paternal cousins, share the middle name of "Sai". This way, we know precisely who belongs to which generation just by looking at the middle name.

The last bit of a Chinese name is normally a name that is unique to you. Chinese don't name their children after family members, so we don't have the concept of names like JFK Jr in our culture. The middle name + your last name = your given name. Ta-dah! Confusing, eh?

Never mind. We're still searching for a nice first name that we can both agree on. I'll leave the Chinese name bit to Dad. We've still got time, I'm just coming up to 16 weeks!

Note: All real names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Parents board flight, forget toddler at airport

Source: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080513/tod-canada-airline-child-philippines-off-7f81b96.html


GOLLY. I can relate to that a bit, having left Top Monkey's precious camera on board while we were frantically opening hand luggage, searching for his wallet. In the confusion, you just forget things. Honestly, you just do. After the very efficient staff at Soekarno-Hatta airport here in Jakarta had helped him locate the camera, he handed it to me (was my job to carry it while he struggled with luggage) and said to me wearily, "Don't do this with the baby, okay?"

I was all panicky thinking I'd lost the camera, which wasn't your average point-and-shoot type, so I can imagine how the family must have felt when they realised their little one was lost. The panic must have been magnified a thousand times. All ended well though, the family was reunited in Canada a day later.

Reminds me of how I'd gotten lost as a 4-year-old in a shopping mall in Singapore once. My aunt, who was supposed to keep an eye on me, thought I was with my parents. Naturally, my parents thought I was with her. It was Christmas and the mall was crowded. The adults all stepped into a lift, not realising I was still staring at the reindeer display. My dad said they panicked right away when they realised I wasn't with them and they got out of the lift the moment they could and hopped into another to get back to my floor.
Was I crying? Not a bit! When I stopped staring at the reindeer and took a look around, I realised that I was alone. It didn't scare me a bit and I remembered thinking to myself, "Oh well, I'll just take a taxi back to Uncle's place." and went on wandering around quite happily.
I happened to walk in front of the lifts and when the doors opened, there were my frantic parents. I looked up, saw them and walked into the lift nonchalantly with a "Oh, there are you are" sort of expression while my parents nearly melted from the relief.

Well, in any event, they would have found me quite quickly because they'd taught me that if I got lost, I was to stay where I was (I didn't do that then!) and if someone in the store uniform (they'd point that out to me when we got into stores) came to ask me, I was to tell them my name and my parents' names and ask them to help look for my Papa and Mama.

I think I'll teach Little Monkey that the moment she's old enough to understand. Don't want to end up leaving her on the plane like I did the camera!

My 4th scan @ 14 weeks

Well, here we are in Jakarta at last. No more shuttling between KL and Jakarta anymore. Phew. It was tiring last week as we packed our things and had the movers come in to do the heavier packing. When I finally got on the plane at KLIA, all I felt was relief that it was finally over. Well, at least Phase I is over, I've still got to think about unpacking in our new home!

Before I left for Jakarta, I had my 4th scan. No pics this time, I've tried taking pics of the scan but it's all blurry. So I'll leave that alone for now until I can get a suitably decent pic to post.

Little Monkey is now 7.56cm long and fully formed! She's an active one, squirming away and kicking whenever the doctor pressed the ultrasound erm.. thingy against my tummy. I'm so glad I don't have to have the vaginal scan anymore, I really do not enjoy having strange things poked into me down under! *grumble*
The funniest bit of the scan was seeing her bones. LOL The doctor pointed out all her ten fingers to me. "See? Can you see?" and proceeded to count from 1 to 10. That was pretty amazing, I could clearly see tiny handprints on the monitor. Then he showed me her spine and her ribs and I laughed out loud because the bones all lit up on the monitor and it was like looking at a Halloween costume with the flourescent bones painted upon it.

The doc tried his best to get a view of her neck so that he could calculate the ratio of the neck length to her total length to estimate the possibility of Down's Syndrome but Little Monkey was stubbornly lying in a way that made it impossible to get an accurate measurement. Haha, that's my girl! (boy!) Stubborn like Mummy! Anyway, the doc did an estimation the best he could and it looks like Little Monkey is all right.
However, I still have to take a blood test in my 16th week to test for Down's. Shite. Another blood test. I can't stand blood tests!!! I can't stand needles!!! As I am below 35, the doctor told me that amniocentesis is not required, just the blood test and I was relieved because that procedure involves a very loooooooooooong needle and I can just tell I'm going to faint the moment the needle is brought out.

I also got my blood test results back. My three vials of blood had been subjected to a battery of tests and to my relief, I came back with very normal results. I left with an armful of supplements to take (multivits, folic acid, calcium and DHA) and a bounce in my step. I called home to tell Mum about the scan and she told me that such technology wasn't available when she was pregnant with me, so she never knew what I looked like till I popped out. Gee. That was a surprise. I'd always assumed ultrasound had been available since her time as a young mother.

It's always great to see the little one and to know that she's doing well. I'm planning to visit the gynae here in Jakarta on my 16th week. By then, we should be able to tell if Little Monkey is a he or she. I don't really mind either way but it's kinda nice to be able to visualise the little one in the correct gender.

At this point in time, we're hoping she'll come out safe and sound, bright and happy. Top Monkey is hoping that she'll be musical like me while I'm hoping she inherits his lovely long eyelashes, hazel eyes and calm temperament. We'll save our hopes for her entering med school or law school for 10 years later. :))

Random Happy Moment

This morning, Top Monkey woke up, kissed my tummy and said, "Good morning Little Monkey!" He then put his ear to my tummy to listen for sounds but there weren't any of course. So he raised his head and put his mouth close to my tummy and said, "It's Daddy here!"

I just thought it was an Awwwwwwwww.... moment. :)))

YES! I'm past my first trimester!

Whoopee!!! I've been waiting and waiting for 12 weeks to come by. I'm just absolutely relieved because now, the risk of miscarriage has now dropped dramatically. Phew.

I haven't been updating for some time now because I've been on the road for a bit. Been off to Jakarta, a two-hour flight from KL, to check on the new house we'll be moving into. I'm pretty pleased we've finally settled that bit of our lives. Top Monkey has been based in the Jakarta office since Jan 08 and has been forced to shuttle back and forth since then. So it's been pretty tiring for him and pretty lonesome for me with him there and me here. I'm relieved we're finally going to make our move official and we can start a new life together there.

So here I am, just past 12 weeks and not looking in the least bit pregnant! I can still fit into my jeans and chinos. Right now I'm sure most people think I'm a lazy bum because I won't lift a finger to help carry anything even though I look fit enough to do it. I know I'm pregnant but it's impossible to tell from just a look.

My morning sickness has just vanished. My huge appetite from about a week ago has also settled down. Having said that, I gobbled up my airplane dinner and about half of Top Monkey's because I was hungry on the flight. Haha.

I feel bouncier now even though I usually lose energy in the afternoons. But it's not as bad as before, I can feel I'm zippier. I've started looking for clothes for when I get more whale-like. Mothercare carries some pretty good nursing and maternity bras, so I'll be coming back in later months to get some. We also took a look at prams and baby clothing... it's so exciting! When my girlfriends had their babies, I had a good time selecting toys and clothes for their kids. But when you're selecting for your own, the good time-ness is just awesome.

I've just taken to sleeping with a pillow to prop up my legs. I find it makes me more comfortable at night. Any pillow will do, just as long as it's firm enough to prop my legs up when I'm sleeping on my side.

We've taken a pic of my belly, so that we can track the progress of the bump. It's in Top Monkey's camera so I'll have to wait for him to come home before I upload it for all to see. I can feel a change in my abdomen... there's clearly my stomach and then my uterus if I press gently on my abdomen. I am soooooooo looking forward to the time when she is big enough to kick!

So that's just a quick update for me... this post is dedicated to PE who asked me "Why no updates?" So here's one, just for you... and may you be sending out good news on a Little J or PE Jr soon! My baby will need a playmate!

3rd scan: Alien life exists on Earth!

Look! Aliens! Well, actually it's Little Monkey, can you see her arms? I had my third scan today, was so delighted to see her. Her head's the blob on the right. The doctor also showed me her legs but he didn't print that shot because it wasn't so clear.

She is 3cm long now, her little heart is beating as strongly as ever and I am just ecstatic that she's doing fine. According to the calendar, I'm 9 weeks pregnant but the computer calculated that I'm 10 weeks along judging by her size.

I told the doctor I had no more spotting, nothing at all since the day I'd arrived in a panic at his clinic but the scan showed up a spot that he said was the old blood clot. Since he's the cautious sort (and because I plan to travel next week), he gave me a progesterone shot just in case. And ouch!!! - my bum is still stinging from the shot, more than 12 hours later. I don't know what he used, a hydraulic pump maybe to give me the shot. Ow.

He also gave me more progesterone pills and advised me to continue taking them till 12 weeks. I'm taking them faithfully, not taking any chances with our little one! I also had my blood drawn for various tests - hemoglobin, rubella, Hep B, HIV, syphilis, thalassemia, iron, folic acid, blood sugar. I'm no good with needles, the sight of one makes me faint. So I had to look away while he was drawing my blood and I could barely stand to look at the tubes of blood later but I had to because I had to ensure my blood was correctly tagged with my name.

The next time I come in for another visit, they'll check the ratio of her neck thickness to her length. This gives an indication of Down's Syndrome and if the ratio isn't right, then the doctor will do an amniocentesis test. The doctor explained he wanted to do the ratio measurement first as a sort of screening test because the amniocentesis test carries a very slight risk of miscarriage and he wanted to avoid it as much as possible.

When I saw her arms and legs, I was just thrilled. It makes her more of a person now that she's actually got proper arms and legs... her arms are bent at the elbows too! So cute. As I told a friend today, I still can't quite believe there's a Mini-Me inside of me. I guess it's because I'm not showing yet so it's very hard to sort of visualise it.

I talk to Little Monkey every day, usually when I'm rubbing cream on my tummy or when I've just woken up and I don't know why I don't feel silly talking to a little blob. Hehe.

I'm so in love with our Little Monkey. :))) But this might change when she's four yo and throwing a tantrum in the supermarket because we won't buy her sweets... but that's what boarding schools are for! ;))

We've told the boys!

We've finally told the boys about Little Monkey. The boys are Top Monkey's two grown sons from his first marriage, the elder of the two lives and works in Aberdeen and the younger has just found a job in Australia. They are lovely boys, I was very pleased they came for our Dec wedding and spent a beach holiday with us in Phuket in Nov last year because we hardly get to see them and I know for sure Top Monkey regrets not being able to see them as often as he would like.
I'd wanted to wait till the first trimester was over before we told them but it wasn't fair really to not tell them and Top Monkey broke the news yesterday. Both boys seemed happy to hear the news, I am looking forward to seeing them greet their new sibling when she arrives in Nov this year.

I don't know if there is a Chinese term for half-brothers, I've never heard my own cousins refer to their half-brother that way. Anyway, all this half-half thing isn't for me. To me, the boys are family, they will be older brothers to Little Monkey and that's that. But I will kill them if Little Monkey picks up their Scottish accents! :)))

9 weeks pregnant!

YOWZA!!! I am 9 weeks pregnant! I am not showing in the least bit, so I'm wearing all my jeans while I still can. Tops are a different matter, I tend to buy tops that fit snug and I can't wear most of them now because the boobie cups have runneth over. Time to go shopping!

The morning sickness has stopped (Phew!) and I'm eating the best I ever had in my pregnancy so far. I've discovered the Little Monkey doesn't like sour, tarty stuff and loves Coke and ice cream and chocolate. This is seriously not me because I've never been a Coke, ice cream and chocolate person. It's my hubby who likes that stuff and I told him, "Your child for sure!"
Yesterday, I scoffed a fish curry rice with fried chicken for lunch, followed by tiramisu for tea and amazingly, I still managed to stuff myself with fried beehoon and chicken for dinner. Top Monkey told me tonight after hearing what I've been eating, "Awww... my Little Porker with my Little Monkey...." Oi!!!

My batteries usually run out sometime during mid-day, so I'm careful not to be out and about then or I'll just collapse on a park bench or something. I take a short nap, wake up, play my guitar and sing to the Little One. I know Mozart is supposed to be good for smart babies but I can't abide Mozart so I'm hoping John Mayer, Dave Matthews Band and Sigur Ros have pretty much the same effect.

I'm scheduled for a scan and blood test this Friday, so I'm really looking forward to seeing her again and seeing how she's progressing. I just wish Top Monkey could be here with me but he's hard at work in Jakarta and someone's got to put food on the table. Never mind, once we've finalised our move to Jakarta, he'll be able to come along to every scan.

Bring on Week 10!

The colour of love

I've just finished reading this article written by a mum who's given birth to a mixed-race daughter (she's white, baby's father is Indian). I am a Malaysian of Chinese heritage and Top Monkey is white, so I share some of the feelings that she has.

In an ideal world, our Little Monkey will just be plain Little Monkey, not Little Mixed Race Monkey or Little Eurasian Monkey or Little Half white-Half Asian Monkey. I worry for her future - if she were brought up in UK, would she be ostracised because of the part of her that I am responsible for? Or if she were brought up in Malaysia, will she always be classified under "Lain-lain"? (lit. Others.. Malaysian forms generally require you to state your race) Will she always be judged by her mixed-ness first? Should her name reflect her dual heritage or should she just have a "white" sounding name to protect her from society's prejudices? I mean, like it or not, the fact is that even here in Malaysia, we still have this Love the White Sahib culture.

More importantly - what do I tell my child if one day she comes running to me in tears because some idiot has made fun of her colour?

Present for me and Little Monkey from Daddy!

Look what Top Monkey bought me! It's a piece of art called "Mother's Day". He saw it yesterday at Yan Fine Art Gallery and liked it a lot because of the mother and baby theme. I suspect he also found it reminded him of me because the mummy buffalo has as big a bum as I do. So today, he took me over to have a look at it and I liked it too! Top Monkey said it would be a nice way to remind us of Little Monkey's conception and me, being the practical Chinese and all, said that if the art appreciated enough, we could sell it when we need money to send Little Monkey to college. Hee.

I'm looking forward to having this hung in our new home and taking a pic next to it when Little Monkey is born. Hopefully, my bum won't be as big as that.

Click here for more on the artist, Ng Bee and his art.

My 1st pregnancy - the trip so far

I'm now 8 weeks pregnant (according to the ticker) and I've quite enjoyed it so far. This is what I remembered happening to me:

Before I tested
I'd suspected I was pregnant because I'd missed my period and I'm never late. Plus I checked up on symptoms and I had about three of them: I had a strange, metallic taste in my mouth, my boobs were sore and I was feeling rather tired. I stopped my regular evening vodka lemonades right away even though I hadn't tested.

Big fat positive!
I'll always remember how happy I was to see the plus sign in the test window, the delight on Top Monkey's face when he came in to see the results and how we'd hugged and grinned together, looking at the stick. I was so happy because I'd fully expected to try for at least 6 months before I saw a positive result and to see it at our first official try was just fantastic.

1st scan
That was a magic moment, seeing our baby for the first time. It was still an embryo, still attached to a yolk sac (made me think of a baby chick!) but it was there, in the right place, healthy and I couldn't believe it.

Telling the family
Hehe, I'll always remember the squeals of delight from my MIL. I'll always remember how happy Mum and Dad looked when I came home for a visit, they'd waited so long for a grandchild and now it looks like they'll get one before the year is out.

Our big scare... and our big smiles later
Yikes. I remember how my heart just stopped when I saw the slight brownish tinge to my discharge that night. That long awful wait for morning to come so that I could call the doctor. Another awful wait before we were called in to see him and he did a scan right away. The relief I felt when I saw our baby appear on the scan and the doctor reassuring me that she was doing beautifully. Phew. That moment when we heard her tiny heart beat for the first time, I challenge you not to have a tear in your eye when this happens to you!


I'm only remembering the good stuff because the bad stuff seems so minor - the stupid barfy feeling, my digestive system slowing down (if I don't eat dinner by 7pm, I'm in big trouble), the tiredness, the sore boobs, the fatigue that can hit at any moment - I take this all as signs that our little one is coming along nicely.

The brownish tinge has disappeared. The doctor prescribed some progesterone pills for me as a precaution, I'm supposed to take one twice a day and they seem to work. The morning sickness has more or less subsided, so I'm concentrating on eating. I didn't gain much weight in the last month because most of what I ate just came out later anyway, so maybe this is my chance to feed the Little Monkey better.

I'm feeling very happy and I'm positively radiating love, peace and understanding at the moment. I'm thinking happy thoughts and picturing happy kiddy moments, not really thinking of labour pains and epidurals now, hehe. That will come soon enough. Top Monkey has started wandering into Mothercare outlets and looking at prams and childseats and things, I adore it that he's involved. He told me that from time to time, he'll break out into a big happy grin in the office because he's thinking about the baby.

So there you go. A little summary of the past few weeks for me. It's been great so far, I am so looking forward to our little one's arrival!

My mummy's 7 weeks pregnant!

Hi Mum! We've both had quite a scary week, eh! Well, you're 7 weeks pregnant which means I'm er... 7 minus 2 is... 5 weeks old! Yeah!
I knew you were kinda worried about me when you saw the spotting in the morning, so I made you barf in the morning to let you know that I'm still here! I knew you didn't really get my hint but hey, I tried my best.

Anyway, I'm 5 weeks old and I'm about as big as a small grape. Did you see my heart beat on the scan? It was real fast, wasn't it! I heard Daddy say that he could see my heart beat even without the colour scan on the monitor. And I've got little fins now, they'll grow into my arms and legs later on. Right now, I look more like I have fins! *sings* Swimming, swimming, swimming!

I'm doing great, I guess you're still not showing me off yet in a little bump but that will come soon enough. Don't worry, Mummy... I'm okay and growing as fast as I can. Hey, where's my share of the ice-cream that you and Dad bought yesterday!

Phew!!! All's ok!

Just had my doctor's visit and the scan and baby's all okay!!! I was so happy! Little Monkey's progressing along nicely and we even heard her heartbeat! It went *piddypiddypiddypiddypiddypiddypiddy* at top speed. That was a real Tear in Eye moment, it was.

I'm so glad the baby's okay. The doctor said that the spotting was probably an old bleed from the placenta and nothing to worry about. I'm glad Top Monkey came along to hold my hand and keep me from freaking out majorly. The doctor was so sweet, telling me I had nothing to worry about and the baby was coming along beautifully. Awwww... thank you for setting my heart at ease.

All is well in the world again. Yay!

Spotting at 7 weeks.. I'm freaked out!

YIKES.

Last night when I went off to pee, I saw some brownish spotting when I wiped. God. My heart nearly stopped right there and then. Luckily, TM had returned home from Jakarta and when I crawled into bed, there was someone there to hold and comfort me.
I was really upset because we'd just spent dinnertime holding hands and talking about how great it would be to have a baby and wondering what Little Monkey would look like.

In the morning, the spotting seemed heavier. I panicked right away, especially since I have some mild tummy cramps as well. I showed it to TM who also confirmed that it was kinda browny.
It is now 11:34am here, I've managed to book myself in at 12:30pm at my doctor and TM's coming along to hold my hand and give me courage. I've checked up on spotting and all the sites and books say that it's incredibly common and not always an indicator of miscarriage but I have to check and see my baby so that I can rest at ease.

C'mon, Little Monkey. Don't you dare pull out of this life before you've even started it! There are so many people waiting for you!

Sorry, Little Monkey!

I felt a bit guilty for stressing out Little Monkey yesterday, so I decided that we should share an ice-cream today! So off I went to get a scoop of Haagen-Daz (spelling?) cookies and cream flavour, topped with choc sauce and lots and lots of choc sprinkles.

Then I sat down in the KLCC concourse area and watched people going by while we enjoyed the ice-cream. It tasted SO good. Hehe. I texted TM to let him our Little Monkey enjoyed it all and would be eating a lot more of it soon. TM suspected it was just an excuse for me to gobble up all the ice-cream in the fridge. As if I would ever do a thing like that! ;)

I love my Mother-in-law!

Right after I posted my last post, the home phone rang. I was surprised because hardly anyone calls that line, most people just call our handphones if they want to reach us. Some people I know don't even have a landline in their house anymore!

I picked up the phone and said, "Hello?" And a beloved voice from across the miles greeted me and I could see her happy smile, "Hello, my beautiful daughter-in-law!" How many MILs greet their DILs that way, eh! I lit up at once, "Hello, Mum!"

TM had called her to say I was being upset and worrying about a miscarriage and she'd called immediately to comfort me and to tell me that I would be fine. She told me she just knew I would have a lovely baby and that I shouldn't worry and put so much stress on me because it would not be good for the baby.
She shared some of her experiences and asked me to be happy, to think happy thoughts and made me promise her that I would be happy and stop brooding. I promised and she then bade me goodbye, telling me again that all will be good.

And you know what? I do feel so much better now, after those calls from TM and from my MIL. Isn't she a lovely woman, I just adore her. She's in her 70s, but you'd never believe it. She's bright, she's got spirit, she's funny as heck, she's compassionate, loving and just so wonderful.

Love you, Mum... thank you for the call, I'm all right now!

I love you, my Top Monkey

When Top Monkey called today from Jakarta, I told him about J's loss and how upset I was for her and confided my own fears about miscarriage and the awful dreams I'd been having. I'm normally bouncy and upbeat when he calls and I'm rarely upset, so TM knew this was a crisis of sorts.

He was lovely, comforting me the best he could over the phone, telling me that he'd be back soon to cuddle me and protect me from Big Bad Nightmares, telling me confidently that it was HIS boys that did the job and they were surely Top Monkey swimmers, that I was at the perfect age to have his baby (since I was worrying about having my first baby in my 30s) and that I would surely be okay.

So I am feeling better now, still upset but not as emotional as before and I just wanted to say that I love you, my Top Monkey, you always know exactly what to do and what to say and I have no idea what I have done to deserve you.

My single biggest fear now - Miscarriage

I am so sad now. I've just been to my regular baby forum, Babycentre, and a member just posted that she'd miscarried at 10 weeks. I had tears in my eyes reading her post and I wrote her a note, but I didn't really know what to write to comfort her. What do I say? "I'm sorry for your loss" ? As if those words could help. I can imagine just how she feels because I too have a fear of that happening to me and I know that if that should happen, no words would ever comfort me. This is my single biggest fear at the moment, displacing cockroaches which have reigned at the top of my all-time Fear List since I was old enough to walk.

I am 6 weeks pregnant, it's early days yet and I have to admit the thoughts of a miscarriage are never far away. I often dream of bleeding and wake up frozen with fear. I did a check on miscarriages on the Babycentre site and it is estimated that 15% of women will miscarry and 98% of those who do will lose their baby in the first 13 weeks. This is the reason why I haven't really told many people about this pregnancy. You might think it's silly not to tell when I keep a public blog but you see.. this blog is for me to pen down my thoughts and most of my friends in real life don't know yet about this blog. Except two and I've known them all my life. :))

This is a list of risks that could make you more likely to miscarry:

• if you smoke
• if you have a high caffeine intake
• if you drink a lot of alcohol
• have had miscarriages
• have fibroids or an abnormally shaped uterus
• have lupus
• have diabetes, kidney disease or thyroid disease
• had an infection early in pregnancy e.g. rubella
• are an older mum. (Erm.. that's me since I'm over 30. Sigh)

One sentence didn't seem particularly comforting - "Even healthy young women with no known risk factors can miscarry." WTF??? That's not what I want to hear! What I want to hear is "We know what you should do so that you carry your baby to full term"!!! You could look upon miscarriage as nature's way of ensuring that only the fittest survive but that is scarcely comforting words for a mother to hear especially if it's her first pregnancy and she really, really wants the baby.

So how would you know if you're miscarrying? Well, if you're having period-like cramps and you're bleeding heavily, that's one of the signs. If you notice spotting on your knickers or on the toilet tissue, call your doctor. According to the article, it's a fairly common occurence but call your doctor anyway. Better be paranoid than sorry, I think.

The good news is that most women are able to get pregnant again after a miscarriage and carry their baby to full-term. Erm, that is nice to know that you can try again but even this isn't really comforting enough when you miscarry. All you're thinking of is your baby.

I'm trying to be positive, chill out and not stress myself out over this, do things like visualise a safe pregnancy and a happy, healthy baby to hold at the end of it all but I can't rid myself of the image of bloodstains and tears. Everytime I go to the loo, I squeeze my eyes shut for a little bit and say a little prayer before I peek at the toilet tissue. I have a little heart attack every day over this and I'll probably go on having them until Little Monkey is born.

For J, what can I say... sorry isn't really the word for times like these. You are in our thoughts and in our prayers. (((((((((((((((((( HUGS )))))))))))))))))

First trip home post-BFP

I came home on Wed to see Mum and Dad, this is the first time they're seeing me since I've announced my pregnancy to them. And wow, what a reception I got! The moment my car pulled up in front of the gates, Mum and Dad rushed out to help me with my bags with Dad yelling at me, "Don't carry the bags! They're heavy! I'll come and carry them!" This is despite the fact that I'm a fairly fit mid-30 something while Dad is in his mid-60s and my bags were really light as a feather.

Mum made sure she cooked me fish every day (DHA for brainy grandkids, you know...) and indulged me when I needed an afternoon nap. Both ran around our little hometown looking for my preserved ginger when I was running out of it and needed it for my nausea. When I came out to help bring in the laundry from the rain, Dad forbade me to help because the "...laundry poles are VERY heavy, ok!" Erm.. I've carried those poles all my life, they weigh something like 4lbs each.

Ooh. I like being pregnant. I get treated like something soooooo precious. LOL

Today, Mum took me to her favourite temple to ask for blessings for Little Monkey. I'm not particularly religious and I follow Mum around more to please her and to set her heart at ease. Since I can't speak very much Chinese, I've always prayed in English, never very sure if the clan deities of my Chinese ancestors could understand me. But I guess they must because when I was last in the temples during Chinese New Year, I did ask for them (Them?) to bless our family with a Little Monkey and here's our little one on the way. There's a part of me, the non-scientific, non-mathematical part of me, that likes to believe that Someone Up There is watching out for us down here. Or in this case, Everybody Up There.

My TM called a few times everyday from Jakarta to chat and to enquire about how Little Monkey was handling Mum's cooking. TM's tastebuds have yet to adjust to Mum's traditional Chinese cooking but luckily Little Monkey quite enjoys it.

Something's different in this trip though. It's not just me being treated like royalty. It's the thoughts I have when I see the places of my childhood. I feel very happy that I will be able to show my very own child the place I have grown up in, to take her to the temples Mum had to practically drag me to, that one day she might ride a bicycle up and down the same road where I learnt to ride mine and play in the garden I'd played in.
TM remarked once, "All mothers are greenie conservationists because they want their kids to have something." Perhaps it's true. Perhaps because we know that we're carrying the future within us, we're so desperate to make sure it's a future worth handing down. Ever since I learnt I was pregnant, I have this urge to save the whales, save the panda bear, save the forest, save the trees, save a snapshot of my own childhood... you name it, I'll want to save it. I want it not for me, but for the future that I'm carrying right now.

Getting to grips with morning sickness

Hi, pleased to meet you. I'm Barfy, the new mum-to-be.

I was sick as a dog over the weekend, nothing I ate stayed in and I conveniently put the blame on TM (the "It's YOUR child!" line). They call it morning sickness but mine was more like all day sickness. What happens is that when you're pregnant, your digestive systems slow down. A book I read noted that the sicker you are, the healthier your baby seems to be and the theory goes that since you're sick so often, you naturally start avoiding foods that are bad for the baby and stick to healthier stuff. That's what I'm telling myself as well.

I've always found ginger to help with my nausea, so on Sunday I went looking for some. The ginger that always works for me is this local preserved stuff, it comes in really tacky looking packaging that hasn't changed since the 1970s. It's got a picture of this Chinese guy on it that really looks like it should belong on his obituary. Maybe they did get it off his obituary, I don't know. You locals in Malaysia may know what I'm talking about, the product is called Uncle Mo but I call it Don Henley assam. This came about in Uni when I was taking a packaging paper in my degree course and I was wondering why this product used this god-awful picture of the Chinese guy. So my best bud and I agreed that Don Henley's pic would be better and might sell more packs. Don't ask me why we came up with Don Henley.

Anyway.... I finally found it in Bangsar's 7-Eleven, a packet costs about RM1.30 (approx 20+p) and it's worked so far. I just take a pinch or two of the stuff when I'm not feeling good. Hubby's also bought me some ginger beer, just be sure to let all the fizz disappear before you take a sip.

Small meals help as well. Don't eat one LARGE meal and then sit down. That's a guarantee for sickness. I'm eating small meals now and I eat about 5-6 times a day and I've been keeping food down so far.

Mint seems to help as well. The nice things about mints is that not only does it keep the nausea away, it gives you minty fresh breath too!

For some, accupressure works to help keep nausea at bay. Go here for some help on where to find the accupressure point. Some of you Xena fans may recall an episode where her sidekick, Gabrielle, was frantically pressing a spot on her wrist to stop herself from barfing because she was seasick. That's the spot you want!

My mum-in-law advised me to keep dry crackers by the bedside and to eat them first thing in the morning before I get up. She said it helps to absorb the stomach acid. I've tried that and it seems to work as well.

Since I've started taking small pinches of ginger and limiting the size of my meals, Little Monkey has settled down too and not been throwing tantrums, so I guess that works for me. You'll figure out what combination of foods and methods work for you soon enough! The good news is, morning sickness usually goes away by the 2nd trimester, so just hang in there.

My Big Fat Positive pic

Kinda late with the pic, seeing how I got my BFP on 9 Mar but I only got to getting this pic off my digicam today. That's how it looked like on 9 Mar and boy, was it a great feeling! :)))

My first scan!

Went for my first check-up with the doctor today. I picked Gleneagles Specialist Hospital here at Ampang because it's a good hospital and it's really close to home. Anyway, I'll have to change hospitals and gynaes once I move to Jakarta.

Dr Tang was very friendly and explained a lot of things to me especially since it is my first pregnancy and a lot of the changes that I'm experiencing will be something that I've never had before. He did a vaginal scan to have a look-see and yes!!! I saw our Little Monkey for the first time!

I'm 6 weeks pregnant, so that means Little Monkey is about 4 weeks old. She's still a fetus, crown-to-rump measurement is 1.6mm. That's tiny! I can't describe how I felt when I first saw her, I just felt wonderful, so happy and relieved that she's safe and progressing at the right rate, that everything's ok so far and I had this feeling that she's mine, she's our baby and I would do just about anything to keep her safe and happy always. Dr Tang gave me a print-out of the scan and I can't help smiling each time I look at it and think, "Look! There's our Little Monkey!"

TM was at work but I met him later and brought along the print-out so that he could have a look too. Big happy smiles from Daddy! We tried to scan the print-out but it came out all black, so I took a shot with my digicam and here she is! She's that little white spot in the black blob!

I called home and told my mum the good news. Then I waited till it was about 9am in the UK before I called home to my mum-in-law to say hi and to tell her the news. She was delighted to hear the good news and told me that father-in-law had been telling her, "You just wait. She'll be having a baby soon!" and she'd shushed him, thinking he was nuts. But FIL was right after all! Hehe.

My younger brothers are delighted at the thought of being uncles for the first time. The elder of the two has already promised a nice present for his new niece/nephew. Awww... thanks! I guess Little Monkey is going to be spoiled rotten when she finally arrives!

Morning sickness??? All day sickness, more like!

After yesterday's bout with sickies, I was quite cautious with dinner. We were attending a company do and I was careful to eat small portions. Thankfully, the rice and chicken wing stayed down.

Today was the much-anticipated brunch with the girls at the Gardens, KL. CF had promised to bring her 4-month old baby boy and we were all excited at the thought of seeing him. Three girls in my group gave birth to bouncy baby boys last year and it's just great to see your closest girlfriends become mothers for the first time. Brunch was at Din Tai Fung, which is supposed to be a popular franchise from Taiwan and HK. They specialise in xiao loong bao (small steamed dumplings). We ordered quite a bit of stuff - fried udon, xiao loong bao, steamed tofu with pork floss and pork buns.

I never get to eat stuff like this with Top Monkey because his English tastebuds have remained stubbornly English despite 5 years in Asia and nothing can come between him and his mushy peas and brooon sauce. So I always savour the moments when I get to meet my friends who share my more adventurous tastebuds.

ANYWAY.... Little Monkey didn't like it one bit. Again, Little Monkey obligingly waited till I got home before showing great disapproval. When TM came in to comfort me, I glared at him, "This is YOUR child for sure. As picky as you are with food." He responded with pride, "Of course it's MY child!" I don't think he got the point I was trying to make.

Oh well. I've got to add tofu, udon and steamed dumplings to List of Foods To Avoid now.

Right now, we've got some steaks on the go and a potato-carrot-broccoli-cauliflower-onion-smothered-with-cheese dish baking in the oven for din-din. I'm kinda hoping Little Monkey will like the food or I'm going to be stuck eating boiled rice for the next couple of months.

First bout of morning sickness?

I had brunch today at a hawker centre at the traffic lights near Ampang Point. I've been there a few times and while the food's nothing great to shout about, it isn't too bad and it's fairly cheap. So I headed there today to have some pan mee and a soya bean drink. It wasn't too bad, cost about RM3.50 (about 60p) and I do like pan mee.

But Little Monkey doesn't and I was sick when I got home. Good thing Little Monkey obligingly waited till I got home before I felt really, really sick. Okay. Crossing off pan mee from my eats list from now on. I know it can't be the soya bean drink because I had that on another day and Little Monkey never objected.

The only positive thing I can think about is that my book says mums who suffer from lots of nausea and vomitting while they're pregnant deliver a much healthier baby. You owe me one, Little Monkey. :)))

What I really want for the baby is...

... babywear from Liverpool FC!!! They're available online at the LFC.tv store but the problem is shipping costs a lot (£15 for overseas orders). Cute or what!!!

The LFC online store has a range babywear and baby accessories to please the Liverpool-mad parents like us Top Monkeys. They've even got some pink babywear to please the mums who have to have their little girls dressed only in pink but I believe that any Red should only wear red.

I'll get the the next time we go back to Liverpool for a visit. We can take a family portrait then -Dad, Mum and Little Monkey all in Liverpool red. Hehe.

I can buy baby bags!

Two nights ago while we were having our usual catch-up-on-the-day chat before bedtime, I told Top Monkey gleefully, "Now I can go buy a baby bag! I saw one in Coach that's really cute!" He spluttered in outrage, "Is that why you wanted a baby??? So that you can go buy a new handbag?!!" Well, I do like my bags but no, that wasn't why I wanted a baby. :))

This is one I'd seen on the Coach website some time ago and I liked it but never had a reason to buy it. I do now! Hehe. Comes in pink and blue.

If you prefer to have a non-sexist bag, Coach has one for you as well.

Personally, I like the pink for girls and blue for boys theme. It's so cute to see little girls all dressed up in flouncy, fluffy pink and little boys dressed in sturdy blue. I'm not going to get the bag yet, going to wait till Little Monkey is almost ready to arrive . TM has promised me he will buy me one as a present, so thank you in advance, my TM!

Free baby tickers from Lilypie.com

This site is really cute. It provides free counters for baby-related matters such as ovulation cycles, pregnancy calendars, kids' birthdays, countdowns to your pregnancy test day and even countdowns for adoption days!

I picked one for this site so that I can keep track of my Little Monkey's development. So all you TTC and mums-to-be, check out Lilypie for your own baby tickers!

Pregnancy Calendar: I am 5 weeks pregnant

Firstly, let's see how we do the count. By the time most women do their pregnancy tests, they are about 4-6 weeks pregnant. Most women won't be able to tell when CONCEPTION occured but most will likely remember their last period. Therefore, doctors use the date of your last period to count your weeks of pregnancy.
This will give you a gestational period of 40 weeks, with the assumption that you conceived about 2 weeks past your last menstrual period. Therefore, I am 5 weeks pregnant but the fetus is only 3 weeks old. However, do remember these are all assumptions, so don't freak out if the baby decided to pop out at week 38 or wait a while till week 42.

So what's happening in me? Right now, it's not outwardly obvious that I'm pregnant. The only physical change I can clearly see is... bigger boobies! Woohoo! Cleavage! HAHA! They're also a little sensitive, so Top Monkey has to be careful when hugging me.
I'm also feeling more fatigued than usual, just like the books said I would. I simply couldn't keep my eyes open yesterday and just zonked out at 3pm, only to wake up around 5pm. Normally an afternoon nap means I won't be able to sleep at night, but come bedtime at night, I was soundly asleep within 10 minutes.

At this point in time, Little Monkey looks more like a tadpole. Heh. That's a funny thought. I can't believe I started out the same way too! All the major organs have started to develop and the little embyro's heart has already started beating. If I could, I'd have this device put into me so that I can watch it happening week by week.

I've just been given the go-ahead to start light exercise after my pelvic misalignment, so today was my first day back in the gym. I did walking, light cycling plus very light upper body weights. I didn't even manage to wet my gym shirt with sweat because what little sweat I produced was promptly dried off by the gym air-conditioning.

Next up - the check up!

Are chiropractic sessions safe during pregnancy?

Well, I've checked out books and articles on the internet about chiropractic sessions during pregnancy and they all agree it's safe for pregnant AS LONG as you find someone who's qualified to work with pregnant women. I asked my chiro clinic and they've got pregnant women who come in to help them with the back pains that inevitably come with a bulging tummy. In fact, my chiro told me that he used to straighten his wife out when she was pregnant with their child! LOL
Most books actually recommend a chiropractor to relieve back and pelvic pains during pregnancy as the process is gentle and safe. I've had tremendous results at the chiro with my own pelvic pains and I would recommend it to anyone who's suffering.

What worries me is the electrotherapy that is part of my session. These serve to stimulate my muscles in my lower back. I did my research on the Internet and most agree that it should NOT be used on pregnant women. I checked a manufacturer's site and they said while they've not had any adverse results with pregnant women, they too agree that electrotherapy should not be carried out on pregnant women.

*gulp* Have I fried my baby? Oh no. I've got to talk with my chiro tomorrow about this!