Mum and Dad get to see Little Monkey's latest scan

I'm back home in my little hometown in Malaysia for a week to see my mum and dad. I flew infrom Jakarta on Air Asia, one of the region's many budget carriers. It's pretty good service, the planes were on time and we landed 20 minutes early. Unfortunately, the baggage took about 20 minutes to appear so we lost the time advantage.

I'd emailed home Little Monkey's latest scan to my parents to show them the baby but it so happened the PC at home konked out and they didn't get to see it. So I brought the actual scan home to show them a glimpse of their first grandchild-to-come.

I didn't realise that people who aren't used to seeing ultrasound scans can't make head or tail of them. I'd been seeing them so often that when the doctor points out, "Here's his head..." I can make it out immediately. So when Dad first saw the scan, he was puzzled, "What's this?" All his three children were born in an era when ultrasound wasn't freely available and I doubt if he ever got to see much of us in utero.

I told him it was the baby's face and hands. It took him a few minutes of squinting before he finally saw it. And when he did, he was just delighted! It was lovely to see his pleasure and excitement. My dad adores babies and children and he's always the one who would play with the kids in the family.

What my dad liked very much was that our Little Monkey seems to have inherited his father's strong Caucasian nose. We come from a family of snubby noses (or no-nose as my amused husband likes to put it) and a strong, sharp nose is a highly prized feature. He was proudly pointing out the nose to my mum when she appeared later to have a look. I'm guessing that when he's born, they're going to want to make a cast of his nose to show off to neighbours "Look at my grandson's nose! It's sharp enough to pierce a can!"

We've told the boys!

We've finally told the boys about Little Monkey. The boys are Top Monkey's two grown sons from his first marriage, the elder of the two lives and works in Aberdeen and the younger has just found a job in Australia. They are lovely boys, I was very pleased they came for our Dec wedding and spent a beach holiday with us in Phuket in Nov last year because we hardly get to see them and I know for sure Top Monkey regrets not being able to see them as often as he would like.
I'd wanted to wait till the first trimester was over before we told them but it wasn't fair really to not tell them and Top Monkey broke the news yesterday. Both boys seemed happy to hear the news, I am looking forward to seeing them greet their new sibling when she arrives in Nov this year.

I don't know if there is a Chinese term for half-brothers, I've never heard my own cousins refer to their half-brother that way. Anyway, all this half-half thing isn't for me. To me, the boys are family, they will be older brothers to Little Monkey and that's that. But I will kill them if Little Monkey picks up their Scottish accents! :)))

The colour of love

I've just finished reading this article written by a mum who's given birth to a mixed-race daughter (she's white, baby's father is Indian). I am a Malaysian of Chinese heritage and Top Monkey is white, so I share some of the feelings that she has.

In an ideal world, our Little Monkey will just be plain Little Monkey, not Little Mixed Race Monkey or Little Eurasian Monkey or Little Half white-Half Asian Monkey. I worry for her future - if she were brought up in UK, would she be ostracised because of the part of her that I am responsible for? Or if she were brought up in Malaysia, will she always be classified under "Lain-lain"? (lit. Others.. Malaysian forms generally require you to state your race) Will she always be judged by her mixed-ness first? Should her name reflect her dual heritage or should she just have a "white" sounding name to protect her from society's prejudices? I mean, like it or not, the fact is that even here in Malaysia, we still have this Love the White Sahib culture.

More importantly - what do I tell my child if one day she comes running to me in tears because some idiot has made fun of her colour?

Present for me and Little Monkey from Daddy!

Look what Top Monkey bought me! It's a piece of art called "Mother's Day". He saw it yesterday at Yan Fine Art Gallery and liked it a lot because of the mother and baby theme. I suspect he also found it reminded him of me because the mummy buffalo has as big a bum as I do. So today, he took me over to have a look at it and I liked it too! Top Monkey said it would be a nice way to remind us of Little Monkey's conception and me, being the practical Chinese and all, said that if the art appreciated enough, we could sell it when we need money to send Little Monkey to college. Hee.

I'm looking forward to having this hung in our new home and taking a pic next to it when Little Monkey is born. Hopefully, my bum won't be as big as that.

Click here for more on the artist, Ng Bee and his art.

I love my Mother-in-law!

Right after I posted my last post, the home phone rang. I was surprised because hardly anyone calls that line, most people just call our handphones if they want to reach us. Some people I know don't even have a landline in their house anymore!

I picked up the phone and said, "Hello?" And a beloved voice from across the miles greeted me and I could see her happy smile, "Hello, my beautiful daughter-in-law!" How many MILs greet their DILs that way, eh! I lit up at once, "Hello, Mum!"

TM had called her to say I was being upset and worrying about a miscarriage and she'd called immediately to comfort me and to tell me that I would be fine. She told me she just knew I would have a lovely baby and that I shouldn't worry and put so much stress on me because it would not be good for the baby.
She shared some of her experiences and asked me to be happy, to think happy thoughts and made me promise her that I would be happy and stop brooding. I promised and she then bade me goodbye, telling me again that all will be good.

And you know what? I do feel so much better now, after those calls from TM and from my MIL. Isn't she a lovely woman, I just adore her. She's in her 70s, but you'd never believe it. She's bright, she's got spirit, she's funny as heck, she's compassionate, loving and just so wonderful.

Love you, Mum... thank you for the call, I'm all right now!

First trip home post-BFP

I came home on Wed to see Mum and Dad, this is the first time they're seeing me since I've announced my pregnancy to them. And wow, what a reception I got! The moment my car pulled up in front of the gates, Mum and Dad rushed out to help me with my bags with Dad yelling at me, "Don't carry the bags! They're heavy! I'll come and carry them!" This is despite the fact that I'm a fairly fit mid-30 something while Dad is in his mid-60s and my bags were really light as a feather.

Mum made sure she cooked me fish every day (DHA for brainy grandkids, you know...) and indulged me when I needed an afternoon nap. Both ran around our little hometown looking for my preserved ginger when I was running out of it and needed it for my nausea. When I came out to help bring in the laundry from the rain, Dad forbade me to help because the "...laundry poles are VERY heavy, ok!" Erm.. I've carried those poles all my life, they weigh something like 4lbs each.

Ooh. I like being pregnant. I get treated like something soooooo precious. LOL

Today, Mum took me to her favourite temple to ask for blessings for Little Monkey. I'm not particularly religious and I follow Mum around more to please her and to set her heart at ease. Since I can't speak very much Chinese, I've always prayed in English, never very sure if the clan deities of my Chinese ancestors could understand me. But I guess they must because when I was last in the temples during Chinese New Year, I did ask for them (Them?) to bless our family with a Little Monkey and here's our little one on the way. There's a part of me, the non-scientific, non-mathematical part of me, that likes to believe that Someone Up There is watching out for us down here. Or in this case, Everybody Up There.

My TM called a few times everyday from Jakarta to chat and to enquire about how Little Monkey was handling Mum's cooking. TM's tastebuds have yet to adjust to Mum's traditional Chinese cooking but luckily Little Monkey quite enjoys it.

Something's different in this trip though. It's not just me being treated like royalty. It's the thoughts I have when I see the places of my childhood. I feel very happy that I will be able to show my very own child the place I have grown up in, to take her to the temples Mum had to practically drag me to, that one day she might ride a bicycle up and down the same road where I learnt to ride mine and play in the garden I'd played in.
TM remarked once, "All mothers are greenie conservationists because they want their kids to have something." Perhaps it's true. Perhaps because we know that we're carrying the future within us, we're so desperate to make sure it's a future worth handing down. Ever since I learnt I was pregnant, I have this urge to save the whales, save the panda bear, save the forest, save the trees, save a snapshot of my own childhood... you name it, I'll want to save it. I want it not for me, but for the future that I'm carrying right now.

Off to Jakarta!

Whee! I'm off to Jakarta tomorrow for a visit. As I've mentioned before in this post, we're moving to Jakarta soon. My beloved TM has just been appointed Overlord of Jakarta (as I put it) and I'm really excited to be moving to a new place! I've lived all my life in Malaysia and I can't wait to experience another country.

I'm all packed and ready to go. This will be my first recon visit, it's a chance for me to check out the neighbourhood, to check out the housing available and to see if the shops stock the same stuff we get back here. We'll also be looking at making new friends there, both local and fellow expats and I'm quite eager to join several social clubs. TM loves little dinner parties and I'm looking forward to hosting them when we're there.
I'll also be checking out the hospitals since I'll need to get to know some gynaes there. If anyone has any recommendations, please let me know.

I am so excited to be able to see my TM daily again. He's been shuttling back and forth between Jakarta and KL for some time now and I really hate not being able to see my husband every day.

Jakarta, here I come!

Choosing Unique Baby Names

Ok, I do realise this is a little premature but it's so much fun to think of names. TM and I have done it before, usually when we're curled up on the couch after dinner and we're in that cosy mood. We haven't worked out yet if the baby should have a combination of English-Chinese names to reflect her heritage but we've got lots of time yet!

Each time I think of names for Little Monkey, I can't help but think of these fellows...

Unique Name #1: My father once taught a pair of brothers who had the most unusual names. Their surname was See. The elder boy was called See Major... so it made a lot of sense that his younger brother was named See Minor! Dad reckons their father must have been mad on music.
Unique Name #2: Sophia's friend came from a family of 11 siblings and he was the youngest. By the time he was born, his mother must have run out of names because he was named Wong Tee Pot.
Unique Name #3: This was my aunt's childhood friend. Her name, Poh Pai, looked innocent enough on paper but if you say it quickly, you end up saying "Popeye".


So there you go. If you have heard of any unusual names, please let me know!

Project Little Monkey

We've just started trying, so I don't know either! :)))

Introducing the Top Monkey Family - Mr Top Monkey

Now, this is Mr Top Monkey. TM for short. TM was born in England a long time ago and this pic was taken when he was about 5 years old, I think. According to my MIL, he was a "...beautiful baby!" I agree! TM was brought up in Liverpool but thankfully doesn't talk Scouse or communication would have been a major problem between us.

TM has just been appointed Overlord of Jakarta. Well, not really. He's just been announced as the new head of his Jakarta office, which is why we're moving there soon. I'm going to miss living in KL, I am.

What's life with TM like? Well, life's heavenly so far! TM is one of those men who can actually cook, do the laundry, clean the house and bring you breakfast in bed. The only time he's unbearable is when he insists on playing odd jazz music on the hi-fi. TM is very fond of music and even fonder of his hi-fi system. Being English, TM has some odd habits which I cannot understand. Odd Habit Number One: wearing shoes into the house. Odd habit Number Two: Eating beans on toast and having peas with almost everything.

Why is he called a Top Monkey? Well, when I first moved in, I would get really peeved each time he brushed crumbs off his shirt onto the floor. His reasoning? "Why? We're going to vacuum anyway!" So I started picking the crumbs off him before he could brush it off. One day, Nat Geog showed a docu on monkeys where the monkeys who were on the lower end of the social ladder would groom the alpha monkey in the troop in pretty much the same way. *LIGHTBULB MOMENT* And thus, the Top Monkey was born.

We met end of 2005 at a Liverpool FC match viewing session. Haha. We're both crazy mad Reds, you see. We got engaged at the end of 2006 and married a year later. I never saw him coming, but I'm glad he did. Life's funny sometimes. :))

Introducing the Top Monkey Family - Mrs Top Monkey

Thought it was time I did a post introducing the Top Monkey family.

This is me. Mrs Top Monkey. Well, in that pic, I was about 6yo and not a Mrs anything yet. I was born and bred right here in Malaysia. I used to work in consumer marketing for the likes of Colgate but have given up all that exciting corporate life so that I could focus on caring for Mr Top Monkey.

Before we were married, I could only cook instant noodles and boiled eggs and always sang in the shower. Now apres married life, I can cook roasts and chicken rice and don't sing much anymore.

Five things my friends don't know about me:

1. I used to be able to play the piano pretty well. I lasted all the way till Grade 7 of the ABRSM syllabus before I quit.

2. I was President of the Gymnastics Club in my sixth form. This was an absolute mistake as I was, and still am, stiff as a board. I did as little work as I could and was always skipping meetings!

3. I used to be able to leap like a grasshopper. I was small but very agile as a child and could always be depended upon in the game of getah (lit. rubber. A children's game in Malaysia where ropes are made out of linked rubber bands and kids take turns to jump across).

4. I am frightened to death of butterflies and clowns.

5. I used to make up football chants for Liverpool FC for my own amusement. Example below which I composed during the ultra-frustrating season of 2004-05 (to the tune of Supercalifragalisticexpialidocious)

"Up and down domestically, now number 5 in league

Some say it's luck or injuries or maybe just fatigue

Six games to go, five points behind and Tottenham to beat*

Super Rafa's Liverpool, we're still in Champions League! "*This line would change each time we played match and the points difference between us and Everton changed

My grandparents set sail from their little village in Hainan Island, China a long time to escape the communists and to find a better life in the then Malaya. My parents were born here, so that makes me a 2nd generation Malaysian. I am who I am today because of their sacrifices. If they hadn't worked so hard and insisted on educating us all, I doubt if I would be sitting pretty here in our KL apartment and typing all this out on this fancy laptop.

My grandfather passed away in 1994 and my grandmother 10 years later, so they never got to meet the wonderful man I married. I wish they had because they would have been so amazed at how much things can change in 2 generations.